As you can very well imagine, working in this industry affords me to run into people of unconventional size...
Frankly, I would be willing to confess that <30% of people who come through the drive thru fall into the physical category of "obese"...and <100% of these people are likely to piss me off.
Why? Well...I'll tell you why...
It's because most of these people feel the need to demand ridiculously, make seemingly laughable requests, and usually just act plain rude.
I'm incredibly sorry, madame wearing a muumuu with arms that are the circumference of a WHOLE fucking HAM, but do I happen to be wearing a name tag that says "Your Bitch"?
I don't believe so.
I suppose one of the best examples of why my rage is so manic occurred the other morning--a woman, who occupied the entire front seats of her car, came through the drive thru around 7:15am. She ordered a large coffee.
I fixed her the coffee, not realizing that it was the same coffee from the day before, and therefore cold.
She left, and thirty minutes later, came BACK around to inform me that her coffee didn't meet her standard of correct temperature.
As I was brewing another pot, I told her it would take a minute...to which she replied "if I drive around to the parking lot, will you bring it out to me?"
I must confess, I looked at her as if she was indeed stupid.
I am young and able, but this doesn't mean I serve those who have allowed themselves to become so large as to be COMPLETELY FUCKING IMMOBILE.
I don't understand...yes, you may not be able to get out of your car anyway in order to come inside and sit down and wait for your coffee, but perhaps this ought to tell you something about yourself?
Does one need an intervention? Jenny Craig?
I don't care about what issues you have with yourself, everyone struggles with their weight but only a few certain people allow it to get to out of hand. Just because you're enormous does not mean I owe you any kind of special treatment. I get it, you're semi-disabled, but does it really look like I'm in the mood to indulge you when you're already huge and sitting in the window of a fast food joint?
Are you really trying to help yourself?
Do you WANT me to open my mouth and be rude--because trust me, standing there looking at you, it's taking so much dignity out of me to smile and be polite.
I think what pisses me off he most is when enormous people come in with their kids...their LITTLE kids. And they're feeding them fries...and nuggets...and being picky and choosy about toys...
Do you realize what you're teaching your young child?
Do you know how many health issues this kid will be able to attribute directly to you?
Do you know what when you order everything large, that this kid is looking up at you and wanting to do what you do...so eventually they'll want to start ordering everything large as well, simply to mimic your behavior?
Bottom line is, I'm tired of dickish obese people.
I refuse to walk on water for you just because you're enormous.
Stop being dicks.
Switch to Subway.
