Sausage Biscuits and Cups O'Water.

I really can't understand why people make such a BIG GODDAMN DEAL out of something so incredibly miniscule.

You know how that can be so aggravating, right?

The one thing that pisses me off more than anything about people, is how they manage to be so ridiculously hung up on things that are so unimportant. I'm talking about the stupid dip-shits that come into my store every morning, when I work--and BITCH.

Last time I checked, you're not a Ugandan orphan.

Last time I checked, you have enough money in your pocket to go to the grocery store and spend it on substantial food--instead of standing here, spending it at this place.

Perhaps even more infuriating is the cheap-asses.

You come in the drive thru expecting for me to stick two butters, four grape jellies, a knife, and extra napkins in your bag.

OH--AND you want a "cup o'water".

You want a cup of water because you're a cheap mother fucker who doesn't want to pay for an actual drink. If you're coming to an establishment like this, you're asking to pay for something. I think we should start charging a dollar for every cup of water--they'd literally be paying for the cup, and not what's in it.

I mean...I'm standing here, and I'm being nice to you despite the fact that I want to smack you in the face...

The very least you could do is be nice to me in return.

Oh, but NO...we'll have attitudes. We'll not be decent.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?!

I have never been treated so vilely at any other job I've ever worked at...and that's saying a lot, because I've almost constantly worked with the public.

In case you're wondering:

I'm NOT a single mother.
I'm NOT on social assistance.
I'm NOT trying to jip you.

I'm just a college student trying to work her way through school payments...and the LEAST of my worries is making sure your BISCUIT is the right temperature.

Bitches.

The Conveniently Attractive Assistant Manager

He is entirely intolerable.

His manners are temperamental, and prone to outbursts that are not altogether sound. He is somewhat laughable when provoked, amusing when angry, and when he is feeling most proud--this is when he is most pliable.

He is perhaps more senile than any older gentleman I've encountered.

He is charmed easily, and falls victim to a flattering comment or a delicious excuse for humor.

I wished him naked only to point and mock.

His body is proportioned, and masculine--all, save his ass.
His ass is heaven, and belongs on a Playmate.

It's ironic his best physical feature is oddly feminine in nature.

When his fancy is tickled, an uncommonly charming smirk forms in the corner of his mouth.
In the event that he is reading this now, he is most likely wearing it.

He is attracted to vice. He is never quite willing to bend backwards, however he is quick to be helpful when it suits him.

I worked with him for six and a half months, and I don't believe I ever told him how incredibly inspiring he was. Most of his jokes were critical of others, and obnoxiously rude...but for some very strange reason, I related with him more than anyone else in the place.

I was very sad when he left.

His uncanny ability to piss me off and elate me in the same instance is entirely missed.